$Id: 30_stageplay.txt,v 1.3 1997/08/27 19:02:11 chommel Exp $
Subject: The Gentle Seduction


		THE GENTLE SEDUCTION
		--- ------ ---------

A One-Act Play by C. Hommel

based on a production originally performed at the Winchester, MA LRY
conference December 1976, by members of the First Parish Framingham
LRY group.

Running Time: 15 minutes

Cast of Characters
---- -- ----------
JOE TACO, the eternal LRYer
SUZY CREAMCHEESE, the Sweet Young Thing
MALE NARRATOR
FEMALE NARRATOR



The Setting
--- -------
A well-lit stage. Murals and other large art projects that are the result
of many hands.




Act 1, scene one

	The MALE NARRATOR and FEMALE NARRATOR ENTER and take up position
	at the front of the stage, sitting about two feet apart. They
	face the audience the entire time, never looking at the events
	on stage or each other.

	JOE TACO ENTERS. He is dressed in the Official LRY Uniform:
	faded blue jeans with a patch on one knee and a hole in the
	other, hiking boots, a tee shirt for some obscure rock group
	that no one has ever heard of, and a red bandana around his neck.

	He wanders around the stage looking bored, and finally sits
	facing the center of the stage.

	SUZY CREAMCHEESE ENTERS. She is wearing crisp new blue jeans,
	a dressy blouse, and penny loafers. Her hair is in a ponytail,
	but she has no makeup or fingernail polish.

	She wanders around the stage with a "gosh-wow!" face, examining
	the murals and goggling at invisible props.

FEMALE NARRATOR: May I have everyone's attention, please?
	We'd like to get started now. Please form a circle.

	(SUZY looks around, wanders back and forth, and
	 finally plops down next to JOE.)

FN: Hello everyone, and welcome to Slumbercon IV,
	hosted by the First Parish in [mumble mumble].

	(JOE notices SUZY sitting beside him, and reacts according
	 to the typical male rutting pattern for the area where the
	 play is being performed. Double takes, silent wolf whistle,
	 face mugging, etc.)

FN: I'd like to remind you all of the three rules of
	LRY Conferences:

	NO FIRE...

	(MN pulls out a beer bottle and chugs.
	 FN leads audience in saying)
		... WATER!

	NO FIRE... (MN pulls out a toilet paper holder decorated as a
	stick of dynamite, and pretends to light it.
	FN leads audience in saying)
		... WORKS!

	NO FIRE... (MN pulls out a water pistol and sprays the audience.
	FN leads audience in saying)
		... ARMS!

FN: Now go out and have fun!

	(SUZY wanders around on stage, conversing and hugging imaginary
	 people, eating and drinking. During all this, JOE dogs her
	 heels. He talks with her once or twice, but usually stays in
	 back of her so she is unaware she is being pursued.)

	(SUZY moves to a corner, followed by JOE.  He makes his move.)

MN: Got a light?

FN: Sure!

	(SUZY gets out her lighter.)

MN:	Got a cig I can bum?

FN: (giggles) Oh, alright.

MN: How do you like the conference so far?

FM: Gee, I don't know. This is my first one. I don't know what to expect!

	(JOE feigns shock. He reaches into his pocket.)

MN: Here, I have something for you.
	(ceremoniously)
	It's a Warm Fuzzy!

FM: Oh, how cute! And fuzzy!

MN: And warm. Keep it to cheer you up, until you find someone special
	you want to share it with.

	(MN and FM improv for a minute on items related to the current
	 venue. What workshops are planned, travel time, outrageous
	 personalities)

	(At some point, SUZY closes her eyes, yawns, puts her hands
	 over her head and does an *extended* back stretch, putting her
	 breasts about two inches away from JOE'S face.)

FN: Boy, is my back sore from that long car ride.

MN: Gee, your back looks stiff. Would you like me to rub it for you?

FN: That sounds mighty friendly. Sure!

	(The two move across stage, avoiding imaginary people and
	 furniture. SUZY sits crosslegged, with JOE in back of her. JOE
	 starts working her shoulders.)

	 Where dialogue is double spaced, it indicates a 5-10 second
	 pause, while the backrub continues.)

MN: My name is Joe Taco. What's yours?
FN: Suzy. Suzy Creamcheese.

FN: Are you going steady with anyone?
MN: No. Never found anyone who I could love forever.
	Until recently.
FN: That's too bad.

MN: Do you have a boyfriend?
FN: No. Never found anyone who could make me feel special.
	Until recently.
MN: That's too bad.

FN: Gee, you're making me feel all tingly.
MN: That's too... I mean, thank you. Say, its getting
	pretty rowdy here. Lets say we go off somewhere
	quieter?
FN: Cool.

CURTAIN






Act 1, scene two

	MALE NARRATOR, FEMALE NARRATOR ENTER and resume their original
	places.  Spots or other direct lighting on them.

	JOE and SUZY ENTER and settle into a cozy spot. If possible,
	a place cleared away in the audience. Otherwise, a suitable
	enclosure on stage. Dim lighting, silvery to suggest moonlight
	or out of doors.

	SUZY lies on her front, with JOE astride her bottom.  Ravel's
	_Bolero_ starts playing softly in the background.)

FN: Oh, my. How did you get so good at this?
MN: Same way I got to Carnegie Hall.
	Practice, practice, practice.

MN:Say - this would feel nicer if I worked underneath
	your shirt. Is that ok?
FN: Mmmmmm, yes.

	(Joe untucks SUZY'S shirt, and resumes.)

FN: Ohhhh, that feels so good. I'm just floating away.
MN: Don't worry. I haven't lost anyone yet! Say, you
	have great muscle tone. Are you on a swim team?
FN: Gymnasticsssssssssss.

	(JOE's motions has pushed the shirt up to the bra strap)

FN: Uhgggggg. I feel a line of fire going from my chest
	to my... toes. I've never felt this way before.

	(JOE has audibly thwapped the bra strap the last
	 few strokes.)

MN: Umm, this seems to be in the way. No problem if it
	would make you uncomfortable, but... Do you trust me
	 enough to...
FN: Oh, yes. Yes! Its quite in the way. Please.

	(JOE does so. The spot dims.)

MN: The moonlight looks so romantic tonight. And it makes
	you look so beautiful.
FN: Haaaaaaaaa.

	(JOE slides down, and starts rubbing SUZY's lower back.)

MN: Gee, you have a lot of tension down here.
FN: Huuuuh-huuuuuh.
MN: Were you working out today? Let me work down here.
FN: Aaaaaaaaah.

	(JOE runs up and down the full length of SUZY's back,
	 jamming her pants down a bit further each time.)

MN: Your jeans are pretty stiff. Would you be
	embarrassed if I worked under them?
FN: Nooooooooooo. Get up a sec.

	(JOE moves to one side. SUZY lifts up, undoes her button and
	 zipper, and pulls the jeans halfway down her bottom. JOE climbs
	 onto her thighs, and continues the massage. The spot dims. )

FN: Muuuuuuch better.

	(Music fades in. Light dims. JOE is now running his hands
	 all over SUZY'S body.)

FN: Oh. Ah. Yes. Urk. (and various other incoherent noises)

	(SUZY is jerking on stage, her hips rising and falling.  FEMALE
	 NARRATOR is vocalizing her way to a rip-roaring orgasm. Music
	 volume rises as Bolero continues.

	At just the wrong time, cut the music. Raise the light
	halfway. JOE gets off and to the side.)

FN: Ahhhhhhgggg. Noooooo. Pleeeeease? Mooooore...

MN: Roll over.

	(SUZY does so, and JOE joins her. Music returns at a loud volume,
	 at the *ahem* climax of the Bolero.  Light on SUZY and JOE irises
	 and fades so we can barely discern some heavy duty makeout action.

	(When music ends)

CURTAIN







Act 1, scene three

	JOE is sitting where MN was. SUZY has her head in his lap, feet
	towards where FM was sitting.

	JOE is barefoot, his shirt ripped and inside out.  SUZY is
	bra-less, her hair let down and very frizzed out, with JOE's
	bandanna around her neck.

	Both are dragging from unlit cigarettes.

JOE & SUZY: (enthusiastically) Was it good for you, too?

CURTAIN